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Concern in Nigeria Especially Gombe State over scarcity of husbands for single women
In September 2013, hundreds of single women led by Suwaiba Isa stormed the streets of Gusau, the capital of Zamfara State, protesting scarcity of husbands for more than 8,000 of them. A similar protest earlier planned by Hajiya Altine Abdullahi for widows and unmarried Kano women in August 2009 was averted by Kano State Government which quickly arranged mass wedding for 1,000 women in the state.
It had looked as if the trend was restricted to the Northwest part of the country and the Muslim population until a pastor in one of the churches in Gombe State raised concern over their unmarried ladies’ choice of men from outside the region, especially the Southwest part of the country who came to take their women away.
Reports say that 60 per cent of the non-indigene population in Gombe State is made of people from the Southwest part of the country, who the Oba of Yoruba in Gombe, Abdulrahim Alao Yusuf, said have been living in the area for more than 150 years.
At 35, Godiya Adamu is yet to find a husband; a situation she blamed on her inability to find a man who is serious about marriage.
“What would I do? I can’t force myself on men if they do not come,” she said, revealing that she had been in about five relationships without meaningful results before she eventually gave up. “As far as I am concerned, life continues with or without a husband,” she said.
On her part, Abigail, a mother of two, said she deliberately chose to be a single mother so that she might have peace of mind. “I live in my own house in this Gombe with my children. I am their mother and their father,” she said.
Abigail said she chose to be single because she could not play the second fiddle in a marriage.
She said: “I have friends who prefer that the man should not make their existence known to the wife at home and they are comfortable with it.
“What I want to say is that one should go for whatever will make one happy. There is nothing new again under the sun.
Esther, a 45-year-old single lady, said the new trend now is for ladies to go out of their state and culture to marry. “I was in a wedding where a pastor here in the North complained bitterly that Yoruba men are taking their girls away. He said when they marry them, they don’t stay in Gombe but take them to their part of the country.
“So I said why will this not be so because some of the young men that you see out there are into drug addiction, and who wants to marry a drug addict?
“The truth is many of them are not serious. It is not only men that are looking for decent and serious ladies, ladies too are also seeking decent men to marry, and that to me is scarce right now in this generation.”
For Amina, a Fulani woman, her problem was that she had education. She said she had discovered that many men in the North are reluctant to marry educated women. “Probably because they felt it might not be easy for them to have control over such a woman. So to me, the option is of course to remain single and be both the mother and father to my children.”
Rev. Adamu Dauda of ECWA Gospel Church Gombe said when he noticed that the situation was becoming alarming, he called for a meeting with all the youths in the church.
He said: “I lead a congregation of over 1,500 members out of which we have over 800 youths. During the meeting, we discovered that out of the 800 youths, 487 were not married, so I began to take the initiative to talk to them one on one.
“The shocking discovery is that some of the ladies told me that nobody had proposed to them. Then I asked, did you not see anyone that you liked? Some said yes, but they could not go to the man because it is against African culture. That is the area we are now looking into.
“If a lady likes a man, why not go to the man herself? If that will give you better results, why not? Because I can tell you for sure that the church is already getting overwhelmed.”
Rev. Dauda also blamed the situation on the inability of many young men to use their hands to make ends meet because they are thinking of white collar jobs and other privileges that will come through the government.
He said: “You would believe me that the economy of our country is in serious problem. Many people are struggling. People would tell you that they have spent two or three days without cooking in their homes. In other words, they are looking for what to eat.
“They would come to the church and plead, and because we are one family, the church encourages giving and supporting one another.
“Today, most of our children, especially the boys, graduated and have nothing to do. When you ask them, they would say they are looking for government jobs. Many of them have failed to use their hands to make ends meet. They are thinking of white collar jobs and other privileges that will come through government but these are not forthcoming.
“Since they have no job, they have no means of taking care of wives. Many of them you can see walking on the streets with their files instead of taking vocational jobs where they can earn money and make themselves employers of labour.”
He said another reason for the delay in marriage for many men and women is modernization, which he said has led to trial marriage, which he said is directly opposite to African culture.
He said: “In those days, because you could not touch a woman before you married her, it encouraged a man to desire to marry. But what is happening today is not good for the ears at all.
“If they could try marriage before they get married then what would prompt them to want to marry again? Because what they are looking for in marriage, they can get it outside marriage.”
He also blamed some of the women for living care-free life. “Some of the women do not have self control, and if you do not have self control, somebody will come and get what he wants to get from you and find his way out. Then another person will come and it goes on like that in a vicious circle. At the end of the day you find out that nobody wants to marry you.
“Hardly will such a lady find a man to marry her, because even if a man is not decent and not faithful, he is looking for a faithful woman to marry. Once a man hears so much about you concerning indecency and other things, they will go away and not want to stay with such a woman.
“Another factor is on the side of the parents. Most parents do not want their daughter to marry until she attains a certain level of education. In those days, after secondary school, a girl can get married and then both husband and wife can go and struggle together and they will be whatever they want to be together. But today, the parents will say she will not marry until she obtains first degree.
“Another thing is that some parents also do select for their children, saying they should wait for a well established family with the hope that marriage with their daughter will get them out of poverty, and the lady will keep on waiting. Parents’ intervention in issues of marriage is causing a lot of problems.”
The Chief Imam of Government House Mosque in Gombe, Sheik Dr. Zakariya Hajiya, blamed the scarcity of husbands for women in the state on poverty. According to him, the huge expenses of marriage for men with regard to the bride, her family, mosques and churches have become a huge burden on them. He said the biting economic situation occasioned by the COVID-19 pandemic and the security challenges in the Northeast region have further worsened the situation.
He said: “The expenses on those things like dowry, clothes, necklaces, kitchen appliances, bed, television, refrigerator and other household appliances, which a would-be husband would provide for both the bride, her family and faith houses, are so huge for him.
“Another problem is the death of many men due to insurgency which have turned many women into widows and with children to cater for. The situation is further compounded by the huge number of widows of soldiers and policemen who died in the fight against insurgency in the Northeast.
“These women are also part of the society. Most of the time, men are victims of insurgency attacks, banditry, kidnapping and the rest. In fact, recently, men have become vulnerable and endangered species in our society as a result of these crises in different parts of the country.
“So, scarcity of husband, which leads to delay in marriages for women, is not limited to the Northeast; it is all over. And it is also not limited to women in Islam; it also affects Christians too.”
Another factor raised by Zakariya is the fact that most women of nowadays do not want to play the second fiddle or allow their husbands to marry another woman after them.
“This is another big problem, especially for polygamists. Some women even killed their husbands for marrying or trying to marry another woman. Yes, it is as bad as that, but it is a deviation from the teachings of Islam.
“Islam allows a man to marry as many as four wives. But these days, once you marry a woman, they hardly agreed for another woman to be married after them. Except you have a very strong hold on a woman, it could be very frustrating to put two or more of them under the same roof.
“Some, apart from trying to kill their husbands, even take him to court for divorce. It is as bad as that.”
He said the society is facing a huge problem in this regard now because the scarcity of husband is forcing many women into fornication, adultery and even prostitution in order to survive.
“Some of these women are even the ones approaching men now because they are looking for means of survival.”
He explained further that most women who prevent their husbands from marrying another woman have forgotten that they also have female children.
“Some of them even have as many as four, five or more daughters at home. If you marry one off and that one did not allow her husband to marry another woman, who will marry her sisters?” he asked.
This, according to him, is what many women who are against polygamy do not understand.
He said: “I am a teacher, and I know that girls in schools outnumber boys. It also means that the population of girls is more than boys.”
But the Statistician General of the Gombe State Bureau of Statistics, Hammed Gidado, would not agree with Sheik Zakariya. Gidado said there is no empirical statistics on ground to support the notion that there are more women than men and that is why there is scarcity of husbands or delayed marriage for women.
To him, available statistics showed that male children still outnumber fema le children, according to latest population statistics.
He said: “There is no empirical statistics on ground to support the notion that there are more single ladies than single men in Gombe State for now. However this could be true on assumption.
“There are five factors which could be responsible for this. First is the spiritual cost of marriage. If you are doing it according to Islamic marriage, it will not go through without cost. The same also applies to church wedding. The pastor and the Mallam will get something.
“Secondly, the parents will do K’aya hauri or lepe in Hausa, and this will involve buying clothes, boxes, jewellery, etc. The minimum you have to spend on this is nothing less than N200,000. Those are on the side of the person getting married.
“But the cost is even more on the side of the parents who have to buy bed, refrigerator, television, carpet, furniture, cooking utensils and other domestic tools to use at home. So the expenses are even more on the side of the parents.
“These are extreme costs which can run into not less than N600,000 or more than a million naira.
“Another is the cost of reception for invited guests at the wedding. You have to provide food for people. If you are popular, you will expect not less than 100 guests. The cost of what they will eat and drink is more than the dowry.
“In Islamic law, dowry is now pegged at a minimum of N25,000. If you put all these costs together, you will discover that it is one of the things deterring people from getting married.
“Another aspect that is neither cultural or religious is the issue of courtship or trial marriage, where a would-be husband and wife will live together and do everything that is expected in marriage. By the time they eventually get married in a matter of three to six months, they go for divorce.
“Another thing is the issue of death among men. When a husband dies, the wife becomes a widow and the number of single women increases. However, these are assumptions; there are no empirical statistics to back it up.”
Gidado however said the upsurge in single women occurs more in the urban areas than rural areas and it is not restricted to Gombe State. He added that in rural areas, a lady could marry up to three or four times.
“But if it is in urban areas, like Ibadan or Lagos, or Kano, Kaduna, Port Harcourt and Abuja, who will marry her? In those urban areas, a lady could live up to 50 years without having a husband. Whenever it comes to the issue of marriage, what will be going on in the mind of the man is where would I get money? Especially now that everyone is looking for white kola job and government cannot provide job for everybody.
“Even when you get the job, the minimum wage is N30,000. Can you manage a home on N30,000 per month? There are also contemporary issues which are not religious, cultural or traditional.”
Gidado concluded that “this issue, sadly, appears to have no solution. Because even when government intervened and carried out mass weddings, many of the women ended up marrying another woman’s husband and the marriage may not last more than six months.”
He said the worrisome aspect is the rate of divorce which is borne out of contemporary issues and is now a common phenomenon all over the country.
“In the South-south and Southeast, ladies now stay away completely from marriage for life. If it is children, they can get their own children and remain single parents. This however is not according to our culture and religion in the North.”
President honours Gens. Yar’Adua, Williams, Igbokwe, media moguls, activists, other heros
With a call on Nigerians to unite in the fight against terrorism, banditry and kidnapping, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu reflected on the nation’s 27 years of uninterrupted democracy.
He said such joint efforts had become imperative because the battle against insecurity cannot be left to the government alone.
The President listed some deserving individuals, including the late Gen. Shehu Musa Yar’Adua, Gen. Ishola Williams, media executives, rights crusaders and others for national honours.
In his Democracy Day broadcast this morning, the President urged citizens to avoid ethnic profiling and blame games in the face of security challenges.
He assured that the country would emerge stronger and more united after overcoming terrorism.
He said: “At a time like this, let us not assign blame or point fingers. Crime has no ethnicity.
“We must stand united and be assured that the enemies of our nation shall soon be history.
“We will triumph over terror and continue to build a more prosperous nation.”
The President spoke against the backdrop of recent abductions in Oyo and Borno states.
He described the incidents as a painful reminder that democracy cannot thrive without security.
Expressing optimism that the abducted children would regain their freedom, Tinubu stressed that his administration had responded decisively by declaring a security emergency and approving the recruitment of more than 50,000 police officers and thousands of military personnel.
Besides, he said the government allocated N5.41 trillion to defence and security in the 2026 Budget, describing it as the largest security vote ever.
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“Democracy without security is a mirage,” he said, noting that the allocation represents the biggest defence and security budget in Nigeria’s history.
Tinubu said the country had moved beyond conventional military training exercises with international partners to precision targeting of terrorist networks, citing the degradation of an ISWAP command centre in Arege, Borno State, as evidence of progress.
Reflecting on the democratic journey, Tinubu said the country had enjoyed its longest uninterrupted period of civilian rule, spanning 27 years since the return to democratic governance in 1999.
He noted that despite its imperfections, Nigeria’s democracy remained resilient because citizens had consistently chosen leaders through the ballot box, resolved disputes through legal institutions and ensured peaceful transitions of power.
Ahead of the forthcoming governorship elections in Ekiti and Osun states, the President urged stakeholders to safeguard the integrity of the electoral process.
He called on the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), security agencies and political parties to ensure peaceful and credible polls, warning that democracy suffers whenever citizens lose confidence in elections.
The Ekiti governorship election will be held on June 20, while the Osun poll is scheduled for August 15.
Tinubu challenged the National Assembly, the Judiciary, the media and civil society organisations to continue serving as guardians of democratic governance.
“Criticise me, disagree with me, but never stop believing in Nigeria,” he said.
On youths, the President urged them to see the country as their future and contribute actively to national development rather than seeking opportunities elsewhere.
He said: “Nigeria is your home and your future. Build here, code here, work here, and vote here. Every great nation was built by those who stayed to solve problems, not by those who abandoned ship.”
The President also commended members of the armed forces, police, intelligence agencies, traditional rulers, religious leaders and community heads for their roles in promoting peace and national cohesion.
The President paid glowing tribute to Nigerians who endured imprisonment, exile, persecution and death during the struggle for democracy, describing them as heroes whose sacrifices made the current democratic dispensation possible.
He saluted the late winner of the annulled June 12, 1993 presidential election, Chief Moshood Kashimawo Abiola, and his deceased spouse, Alhaja Kudirat Abiola, alongside other democracy vanguards.
Former President Muhammadu Buhari in 2018 signed an Executive Order proclaiming June 12, the date of the historic election won by Abiola but annulled by the military, as Democracy Day. It has since been observed as a public holiday.
Those listed for national recognition include Chief Gani Fawehinmi, Chief Bola Ige, Chief Alfred Rewane, Senator Abraham Adesanya, Chief Anthony Enahoro, Alhaji Balarabe Musa, Commodore Dan Suleiman, Dr. Beko Ransome-Kuti, Chief Frank Kokori, Chief Arthur Nwankwo, Mr. Chima Ubani and Gen. Yar’Adua.
Tinubu also announced national honours for many journalists, activists, lawyers, politicians and civil society leaders who suffered persecution, detention, exile and other hardships during the struggle against military rule.
Many military officers who were persecuted during the pro-democracy struggle were also honoured.
They are Ayoka Lawani, Tunde Fagbenle, Oladele Alake, Olatunji Bello, Louis Odion, Segun Babatope, Sam Omatseye, Ademola Osinubi, Bola Bolawole, Lade Bonuola, Femi Kusa, Osa Director, Richard Akinnola, George Mbah, Niran Malaolu, Gbemiga Ogunleye, Jenkins Alumona, Muyiwa Adekeye, Babajide Kolade-Otitoju, Ike Okonta and Ben Charles-Obi (posthumous).
Activists on the list are Debo Adeniran, Ayo Opadokun, Ralph Obiora, Ose Osayande, Sylvester Odion-Akhaine and Arthur Nwankwo (posthumous).
Others are Osagie Obayuwana, Joe Okei-Odumakin, Titus Mann, Joe Igbokwe, Maj.-Gen. Ishola Williams (retd) and Femi Aborisade.
The President equally recognised many military officers, including Maj.-Gen. M.A. Garba, Brig.-Gen. Lawal Jaafaru Isa, Col. Umar Farouk Ahmed, Col. Sambo Dasuki, Col. Lawan Gwadabe, Brig. Jonathan Ndam Temlong, Col. Musa Shehu, Maj.-Gen. Chris Eze, Maj.-Gen. Harris Dzarma, Col. Isa Jibrin, Maj.-Gen. Joseph Oshanupin, Col. Olusegun Oloruntoba, Lt.-Col. Happy Kefas Bulus, Col. J. Okai, Col. Emmanuel Ndubueze, Lt.-Col. Yakubu Muazu and Brig. Yahaya Abubakar, who is the Etsu Nupe.
The President added: “Among the architects of modern democratic Nigeria, we honour General Shehu Musa Yar’Adua for his vision of national partnership.
“In recognition of his contributions, the Federal Government has approved the revitalisation and renaming of the completed Institute of Petroleum Studies, Kaduna, as the General Shehu Musa Yar’Adua University of Geological Sciences and Engineering Technology.”
Tinubu said the full honours list would be released in the coming days.
According to him, the greatest tribute Nigerians can pay to the heroes is to build a nation where freedom is protected, justice is upheld, opportunities are expanded, and government remains accountable to the people.
June 12, he believes, demonstrates the possibility of a united Nigerian nation, noting that while the heroes of that struggle secured political freedom, the responsibility of the present generation is to secure economic freedom.
‘Reforms necessary’
He defended the economic reforms undertaken by his administration, arguing that they were necessary to rescue the country from severe fiscal strain and economic uncertainty.
The President said the reforms had restored stability and credibility to economic management, increased federation revenues, improved fiscal transparency and attracted fresh investments into agriculture, manufacturing, energy, technology, mining, transportation and the creative sector.
He added that domestic refining capacity had expanded significantly, enhancing energy security and reducing dependence on imported petroleum products.
‘We’ll deliver on electricity supply’
On electricity, Tinubu said his administration inherited a sector plagued by inadequate generation, weak transmission infrastructure, huge distribution losses, a metering deficit exceeding four million customers and massive legacy debts.
He noted that the Electricity Act signed by his administration had empowered states to generate, transmit and distribute electricity, while the Presidential Power Sector Task Force had been mandated to tackle the metering gap and raise a N4 trillion bond to settle verified debts in the sector.
The President said the Rural Electrification Agency (REA), with support from the World Bank and the African Development Bank (AfDB), was extending off-grid and mini-grid electricity projects to underserved communities, educational institutions, markets and hospitals across the country.
“Electricity is a democratic dividend we owe every Nigerian. We intend to deliver it,” he said.
Nigeria Investment Opportunities
Highlighting ongoing projects, the President said they were creating jobs, improving connectivity and opening new opportunities for enterprise.
He said the National Agricultural Development Fund (NADF) was deploying 10,000 tractors over five years, while over 1,000 small and medium enterprises had been certified for export.
He added that non-oil exports grew by 21 per cent in the past year.
Despite the progress, the President acknowledged that many Nigerians continued to face economic hardship.
He assured citizens that the government remained focused on reducing inflation, increasing food production, creating jobs, improving living standards and ensuring that the benefits of economic reforms reached every household.
“We are moving from uncertainty to stability. The next phase is about accelerating growth and ensuring the benefits are felt in every home, every community and every region. We believe that democracy must be felt in the pocket,” he said.
The House of Representatives has passed the state police bill, effectively making way for the decentralisation of the Nigerian policing architecture.
The resolution followed the voting by 289 lawmakers in favour of state police during Thursday’s plenary session presided over by the Speaker, Tajudeen Abbas.
Recall that the House committed Thursday’s plenary to voting on the State Police Bill following the spike in killings, kidnappings, and banditry in the past few months.
The session was not without its fair share of drama, as shortly after the lawmakers settled down for the business of the day, Kaduna lawmaker, Bashir Zubairu, moved a point of order, explaining that the document on the proposed state police put together by the House Committee on Constitution Review got to the lawmakers only on Thursday afternoon.
Recognised to speak by the speaker, Zubairu said, “Mr Speaker, this document was only made available to lawmakers in the chambers, and we are yet to go through it. We cannot do justice to it because we have not gone through it.”
Zubairu, a member of the African Democratic Congress, was ruled out of order, allowing the process to proceed.
While the Speaker took members through the clauses, voices shouting “Point of Order” could be heard, but the presiding officer ignored them.
Before the voting began, Abbas announced that the electronic voting system was faulty, noting that the exercise would be conducted based on attendance.
Out of the 290 members in attendance, 289 voted in favour of state police while one voted against. The Speaker abstained from voting.
The National Assembly is set to pass the constitutional amendment bill establishing state police this week, Senate Leader Opeyemi Bamidele has disclosed, describing the reform as long overdue in view of Nigeria’s worsening security challenges.
Speaking in an interview with journalists, the lawmaker representing Ekiti Central Senatorial District said the National Assembly had concluded consultations with key stakeholders and was ready to fast-track the amendment process.
According to him, the amendment would be separated from the broader constitutional review exercise to ensure speedy passage and transmission to the 36 state Houses of Assembly for ratification.
“A cross-section of Nigerians has made it abundantly clear that there cannot be a better time to establish state police than now. We have reached a firm conclusion that we will pass the constitutional amendment to make provision for state police, and this will come to fruition this week,” Bamidele said.
He disclosed that consultations had involved the National Assembly leadership, the Attorney-General of the Federation, the Chief of Staff to the President, the Inspector-General of Police and other critical stakeholders.
The Senate Leader also revealed that President Bola Tinubu and a majority of state governors support the proposal, expressing confidence that the required approval from two-thirds of state assemblies would be secured.
On the controversy surrounding calls for a probe into military spending amid rising insecurity, Bamidele defended the Senate’s decision to reject the motion, insisting that placing the armed forces under public scrutiny while they are actively engaged in counter-terrorism operations would be counterproductive.
He said the military was confronting an unconventional enemy and had continued to make sacrifices in the fight against terrorism despite difficult circumstances.
“We cannot put our military on trial in the middle of a war. Accountability mechanisms already exist through the Senate Committees on Defence, Army, Navy and Air Force, which carry out oversight responsibilities,” he stated.
Bamidele argued that significant progress was being made against insurgents, adding that recent attacks by terrorists reflected desperation arising from heavy losses suffered during military operations.
The Senate Leader also dismissed claims that the 10th National Assembly had become a “rubber stamp” of the Executive, saying lawmakers had consistently engaged the Presidency behind closed doors to resolve disagreements before bills reached the floor.
According to him, constructive collaboration between the legislature and the executive should not be mistaken for weakness.
“We are not a rubber stamp Senate. We simply chose to resolve disagreements privately rather than perform them publicly,” he said.
On electoral reforms, Bamidele maintained that the Electoral Act should not be amended in the heat of political contests, stressing that any review should take place after elections and without retroactive effect.
He also reaffirmed his support for the publication of legislators’ salaries and allowances, saying greater transparency would help dispel public misconceptions about lawmakers’ earnings and benefits.
Regarding anti-kidnapping legislation, Bamidele disclosed that the proposed Anti-Terrorism Bill and measures prescribing the death penalty for convicted kidnappers remain on course and would be concluded alongside related constitutional amendments.
Reflecting on the performance of the 10th Senate, he identified the controversy surrounding the suspension of a senator and allegations of gender insensitivity as one of the institution’s lowest moments.
However, he highlighted several legislative achievements, including tax reforms, the student loan scheme, and the establishment of new federal tertiary institutions across the country.
Bamidele expressed optimism that the Senate’s reforms, particularly the state police initiative and tax legislation, would strengthen national security, deepen democratic governance and provide long-term economic benefits for Nigerians.
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